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Prayers in Time

by Godfrey Rust

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1.
LYRICS When you hit rock bottom there’s only one way to go— so help me God I’ve never been so low— You tell me Jesus is my Saviour— tell me something that I didn’t know. There was a man called Joseph, he dressed flamboyantly— he was a slave to fashion, you could say quite literally— so don’t go dissin’ your big brothers when your Daddy’s not around to see Down in Jericho was a girl with no reputation— she was more than shrewish, doing deals with the Jewish nation and those falling walls led to her Rahab-ilitation (How interesting!) When you hit rock bottom... Well you sure looked cute in your birthday suit but they say you spoiled the party for a piece of fruit— you started out again as the wife of Cain, kept the kids and livestock out of the falling rain, putting food on the table doing anything you’re able, making rough translations in the Tower of Babel There’s a man I know said “I’m in hell today— no hope, no family, no way I can pray. My despair is my prayer, that’s all that I can say!” There’s a woman I know kept apart from her family and the drugs that filled her would have killed her eventually. She said “I’ll take my chances, I’m scared but at least I’m free!” (Exactly!) When you hit rock bottom... You were the joint MD of an SME taking net profits from the Lake of Galilee— when you heard the call you might have known you’d fall— if you fish for men there’ll be a catch after all and now you’re lying low after you lied so low between the kiss in the garden and the cockerel’s crow Pilate said “Hey Jesus, tell me what it is you’re doing— hanging out in Jerusalem on Friday afternoon?” “Oh, it’s a long weekend, but Sunday’s coming soon!” Mary Magdalene found that Easter scene looked bleak— though it started strong you know it ended wholly weak but her mourning turns to morning when she hears that gardener speak (I see!) When you hit rock bottom... You believed your eyes when he materialised but it’s your doubt that marked you out as being worldly wise and a few more weeks playing hide and seek only set a new agenda for the long critique— now the text’s been glossed and the plot’s been lost and you’re waiting, speculating, for the Pentecost
2.
LYRICS We come to your table, strangest of food, to eat of your flesh, drink of your blood, to lay at your feet our hopes and our fears, the lightness of youth, the burdens of years. Who can we turn to? Where can we go? You have the words of life for our souls. I go down on my knees, know just who I am— the glory of God, the puzzle of man; making war with my questions, peace with my doubt and you are my hope when patience runs out. Who can we turn to? Where can we go? You have the words of life for our souls. All that you did, all that you said— voices of heaven go round in my head. If you take this world and make it again then give everything to a new kind of men, who’d be faithful and honest, patient and wise, wouldn’t take someone’s love, exchange it for lies. Who can we turn to? Where can we go? You have the words of life for our souls.
3.
LYRICS Well some of these days I wanna say I’m alone here in my room and won’t you please go away— you can tell me I’m paranoid— there are many things and people I’d prefer to avoid: it’s safer in here with a pizza and beer singing Cafe C songs ‘bout the things I fear— Save me—from the wishing well! Save me—from the fires of hell, well save me, O save me! I’m crying out to heaven, I’m down on my knees, won’t you save me from my enemies? (Give me some examples…) Lethargy and selfishness and ingratitude, cowardice and saying things that sound a little rude, begrudging other people things that they might like like a Snickers or a girlfriend or a nice new bike. Save me from the people who do nothing but moan and the interest on the interest on my payday loan— Save me—from broken sleep! Save me—from my iPhone’s beep, O save me, O won’t you save me! Please be frugal with Google’s robot sorceries, won’t you save me from my enemies? Jealousy, resentment, unforgiveness and greed, rejection by the very people I most need, being irritated by the smoothest of lies, punching someone smug right between the eyes. Don’t make me sit with people with a fake, fixed smile, don’t make me take a lie detector test on Jeremy Kyle— Save me—from my alibis! Save me—from your prying eyes! Save me—I’m just requesting that you save me! Give me an app to delete them from my dreams and my memories, won’t you save me from my enemies? Self-deception, fear of failure and hypocrisy, nosey people, anger, joblessness and poverty. Save me from the things I think I’d rather not think, the things I drink too much of that I better not drink, chugging neat nostalgia from the fountain of youth and rubbernecking the car crash at the death of truth— Save me—from the mark of Cain! Save me—from legerdemain! Save me—it’s getting urgent that you save me! Please take me out of scare quotes and italics and parentheses, won’t you save me from my enemies? Discouragement, loneliness, persecution— save me frae believin’ in a final solution. Save me frae Big Brother, the shame of it all— don’t wannae be evicted by Davina McCall. Save me frae ma doubts and fears, if you please be certain to save me frae ma certainties— (Well, that’s not very politically correct!) Save me—from liberal irony! O save me from a thousand different voices of theology! They say they’ll get me into heaven when St Peter finds the keys— won’t you save me from my enemies? (For instance) Helplessness, estrangement, temptation and pride, save me up with interest at the Nationwide. Save me from the future, save from the past, save me for the last dance if it’s really the last. Save me from my sickness, save me from my health, save me from believing I can save myself— Save me—from the wishing well! Save me—from the fires of hell! Save me, won’t you save me? I’m crying out to heaven and I’m down on my knees, won’t you save me from my enemies?
4.
LYRICS Like a deer that longs for cool, clear water my soul it longs for you, and like a bird that aches for land to rest her body, for a place where I can meet with you. My tears have been my food every night and day— Where is your God now? people say— yet I remember all the nights we spent in thanks and how my heart would overflow with joy— Why be cast down within me O my soul, O my soul? for I will hope anew, my living God. Why be disturbed within me O my soul, O my soul? for I will praise you, my Saviour, my God. And now the words of those who mock and disbelieve you are like a blade that lames and weakens me. You were my God, my Rock, my shield and my defender, why is it you have now forgotten me? Deep calls to deep like the sound of many waters, dark waves of sorrow break on me— yet I remember all the days we walked in love and how by night your music filled my soul— Why be cast down...
5.
LYRICS (Words outside brackets are first "faith" voice Words in brackets are second "doubt" voice) I can (can I?) feel the touch of your presence I can (can I?) feel the touch of your presence healing me, you are (are you?) healing me You say "The world is full of trouble as the sun shall rise and fall but in me you have peace that passes understanding I've overcome it all— yes I've overcome it all" (And here's the plain good news if only I could understand it you died immortal and bring peace with a sword, you come not to judge but judge where first is last and poor is rich and fools are wise— speaking plainly we are freed into complete subjection where the only way to live is to die) I can (can I?) feel the power of your presence I can (can I?) feel the power of your presence healing me - what does it mean to heal me? you are (are you?) healing me - nobody lives forever You say "Don't worry about tomorrow, let it worry for itself but do what is good and seek my kingdom and all shall then be well— yes all shall then be well" (Father, Son, Spirit, riddle of the one-in-three, how could you be wholly God and wholly man? King of a world ruled by someone else, uniting us to live apart, you're the God whom we believe and we don't believe, that's the simple gospel truth.) You say "As high as are the heavens beyond your human gaze so far are my thoughts beyond your understanding, my ways above your ways." (Still the old, familiar puzzle— good God and a wicked world. Why did you choose to lose the power and control? How should we comprehend this suffering God who kills us with his endless love and blesses his beloved with freedom's curse, and the bittersweet gift of doubt?) I can (can I?) feel the touch of your presence I can (can I?) feel the touch of your presence healing me, you are (are you?) healing me Our days are like grass, we flourish like the flowers of the field. The wind blows over us, we are gone, our place remembers us Prayers in time constantly crossing the bridge to eternity
6.
LYRICS Since I was a little child if someone crossed me I was wild— day by day it became my way, I grew with a selfish heart, became a man with an angry heart and if you know me now I’m as nice as pie till you cut me up then the sparks will fly or I’ll cut you dead for what you said when I speak from my selfish heart, or keep my silence with my angry heart. I've got to lay down my angry heart— it fires me up, tears me apart. Got no place for saving grace— stand down my selfish heart, lay down my angry heart. Angry heart is a long hard ride, it rules with fear, it swells with pride— open the gate to a world of hate when you speak from your selfish heart, or keep your silence with your angry heart. Anger grows, it never ends— hurt your loved ones, you lose your friends— what a sad surprise to realise I’m a slave to my selfish heart, in prison with this angry heart. I've got to lay down my angry heart... Jesus said There’s another way to bring your soul to the light of day— forgive if you want to live, have my spirit in your selfish heart, bring peace to your angry heart. And Jesus when it came to your time to die the angry crowd shouted Crucify! you said My work is done, forgive each one, you died with your breaking heart, and you rose with your loving heart. I'm gonna lay down my angry heart.... Lay down my angry heart— it fires me up, tears me apart. Got no place for saving grace, rise up my forgiving heart. rise up my forgiving heart.
7.
LYRICS So many years of drought in this land— idol worship born of idle hands. God is mocked, ambition is laid bare in worthless creeds of pleasure and despair. We your people have come to you today, come to worship, like Elijah come to pray— see a tiny cloud on the horizon again and in our souls the sound of heavy rain. Pour down on every willing heart: rain in this desert, Holy Spirit, counterpart, pour down your power and your grace— we can do the father’s will, make a difference in this place. So many times we have stood upon this ground, pride and indifference the enemies we’ve found. So many lives lived in darkness all their days that never know the liberty of praise. Open our eyes and our ears to your desire, to see around us your chariots of fire, to hear your still and quiet voice again and in our souls the sound of heavy rain. Pour down... We don't find you in the earthquake, we don't find you in the fire, we don't find you in the howling wind, you whisper to our desire Pour down...
8.
LYRICS Lord, where did you leave your hands? Lord, where did you leave your hands? You left your hands on everybody’s arms, you count on our fingers, you wave with our palms— Lord, here’s where you left your hands. Lord, where did you place your eyes? Lord, where did you place your eyes? You placed a pair on everybody’s face to see a world that’s dying for compassion and grace— Lord, here’s where you placed your eyes. Lord, where did you put your ears? Lord, where did you put your ears? You put them on the side of everybody’s head to hear the cries of those who should be healed and be fed— Lord, here’s where you put your ears. Lord, where do you find your voice? Lord, where do you find your voice? You find it in the breath of everybody’s lungs with words of grace and justice on the tips of our tongues— Lord, here’s where you find your voice. Lord, where do you keep your feet? Lord, where do you keep your feet? You keep a pair in everybody’s shoes so everybody’s soles can carry your good news— Lord, here’s where you keep your feet. Lord, where is your body now? Lord, where is your body now? It’s not on the cross, it’s not in the grave, we touch it when we brush our hair or shower or shave— Lord, we are your body now, Lord, we are your body now.
9.
Open doors 05:06
LYRICS The Web we wove for wonder caught the faces of our fears— images flashed on our screens, sound streamed in our ears like doors that open out upon a world without relief from the empty eyes of hunger, the bitter voice of grief. It is the landscape of the victims of the lies we can't defend we turn to our amusements and our families and our friends— the doors cannot be closed now that we've seen what we have seen and we've heard the words of Jesus and we know what they now mean— Open doors to those in suffering and loss, waking to our world in the shadow of the cross: never shirk from our commitment as you never shirked from yours to meet the crying need we see through open doors. Onto the refugee whose crime was to be born in the wrong place, to the moment's inattention that a lifetime won't erase, to the prisoner of conscience being tortured just for fun, to the children drinking water that will kill them one by one; onto the rude and awkward neighbour who needs a loving friend, to the smiling wife and mother's secret cancer of the brain, to the bullied anorexic who has gone from losing hope to the end of her tether to the end of a rope. Open doors… The doorway opens out on the agendas of the hour— shameless priests and politicians trade their principles for power each beaten-down minority walks on through hate or pain till the tables in the temple are turned over once again. If we turn from the doorway we are turning to despair— it takes time, it takes talent, it takes money, it takes prayer: what was good for the Samaritan is good for everyone who can't do everything for all but who will do something for some— Open doors...
10.
LYRICS At the break of day, before I go my way to all the give and taking that I face, every place I go, with every friend or foe, in all I do I know I'm in need of grace. In noon’s activity, with every hurt I see and every bright ambition that I chase, in courage or in stealth, in poverty or wealth, in sickness or in health I'm in need of grace. I'm in need of faith for restoration in the moment of betrayal, in need of love that gives forgiveness when I hammer in the nail, in need of hope of resurrection when the powers of death prevail: when all is said and done I'm in need of grace. At the set of sun, when my race is run and I lay down upon my resting place, for all that's passed my way and all that’s left to say every single day I'm in need of grace; every single day I'm in need of grace.

about

MUSIC FOR THE SOUL – MONEY FOR THE KIDS

PRAYERS IN TIME is a new album of "psalms for the 21st century" by singer/songwriter/poet Godfrey Rust. All income from it goes towards completing the building of two schools in a troubled area of west Africa.

MUSICALLY, an eclectic roots/acoustic mix of blues, folk, country, pop, rock and roll, reggae and jazz influences, produced by Adam Rust, featuring many supporting vocalists and players including woodwind virtuoso David Fitzgerald.

LYRICALLY, a storm of words: stories, imagery, humour, wordplay, on a journey through our universal concerns of faith, hope and love and their shadows—doubt, disillusionment and rejection—echoing many of the themes of the ancient Jewish psalms in contemporary forms.

CHARITABLY, all income from sales of PRAYERS IN TIME goes to help complete the building of two schools in Jos in the troubled north of Nigeria – see www.wordsout.co.uk/pit_kenneth.htm .

(Complete information about the album can be found at www.wordsout.co.uk/prayers_in_time.htm ).

INTRODUCTION: SOME PSALMS FOR THE 21ST CENTURY

Love, hope and faith remain. For now, though, they come with their shadows – rejection, disillusionment and doubt – absences which can seem as real as presences. They are inseparable travelling companions on our journey.

The psalms, the ancient songs of the Jewish scriptures, say much about this. They are not always comfortable. They look reality in the face. They meet with paradox, and press on regardless. They travel beyond turmoil and opposition, to the possibilities of love.

The ten Prayers in Time are modern psalms like these, songs of hope and grace, and not without humour and irony. Some are personal, some can be sung together by all. The album is a journey in two stages, one that in our lives may be repeated many times, starting from any point.

The first five songs are reflections. Whatever comes our way, hope springs eternal (Rock bottom blues). We glimpse truth (Who can we turn to?), but things inside and outside get in the way (Save me from my enemies). Sometimes we feel connected, sometimes abandoned (Deep calls to deep), and however consoling our beliefs, we cannot escape contradiction and loss (Healing touch, the theologian’s prayer).

The last five songs are responses. We may break the logjam of anger or frustration by forgiveness (Lay down my angry heart), and love well if we have reserves of spirit to draw on (The sound of heavy rain). If something good is to be done, it will be because we take responsibility (Lord, where did you leave your hands?) to meet needs of others (Open doors); and at the end nothing is worth much if it is not done out of love (In need of grace).

What has changed for psalms in the 21st century is the loss of the ancient certainty that God is near us, and for many that a god is anywhere at all. My own frame of reference is Christian, and the light of the man Jesus falls across these songs, but I believe that the themes here are universal and I hope that they resonate with those of other faiths, or of none.

The cover image is evocative of Psalm 103:

Our days are like grass:
we flourish like the flowers of the field.
The wind blows over it and it is gone
and its place remembers it no more.

The flower pictured is transient and ordinary - yet it is also unique and very beautiful; and its seeds are blown, like prayers or psalms, to go to who knows where: some to fall in stony or thorny ground and to die unregarded, and some to fall in good ground and grow to new and beautiful life. They are like prayers in time, constantly crossing the bridge to eternity.

Godfrey Rust, May 2018

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Prayers in time has been a decade in the making, by an unplanned and complicated route. The first demos were recorded in 2008, though all but one of the songs have been written since then as the final track list has gradually taken shape. It took the considerable production, arranging and keyboard skills of my son Adam to finally pull it together. This is as much Adam’s album as mine, though he is not responsible for any of its weaknesses or follies.

Additional vocals have largely been a family affair, from Adam and my older son Joel, daughter Emma (Nixon) and cousin Jess Duckworth, with Joel’s wife Laura Fontanills and her cousin Neena Caperna adding some Cuban-American power and finesse. Rock bottom blues includes spoken interjections from Emma, my wife Tessa and her mother Mary, and Lay down my angry heart concludes with the ante-natal heartbeat of our grandson Leo at 11 weeks.

Jo Whitfield (who delivers the middle class rap on Rock bottom blues in her best Felicity Kendal manner) is an actor with whom I have worked on many projects over many years. Save me (from my enemies) includes prompts from Jude Smith, son of our friends Sarah Beattie and Noel Smith.

David Fitzgerald recorded woodwinds for the last album I made as half of Shattock & Rust in 1995 and was the first person I wanted to contribute to this one. What he brings is transformative, and I am grateful for his consummate skill and creativity and for his friendship.

Daniel Corbett is an eclectic electric guitarist who has played quite often with me at Café Church. Steve “Wah Wah” Weeks is an old friend and leader of the more than legendary soul-funk outfit Our Dad.

Emma O'Gorman (vocals), Jack Shepherd (guitar) and Sam Brown (cello) are friends among the network of young professional musicians with whom Adam often works.

Claire Dovey and Hannah Copeland belong, as I do, to the highly sociable running club Ealing Eagles, and wield their violin bows in a number of places and ways.

I am indebted to all of these, and to Jonathan Pagden, who provided much of the kit, engineering and encouragement for the early demos and recorded some of the final woodwinds, and Enoch John and Denis Blackham, who provided the finishing touches by mixing and mastering.

The entire vagabond community at Café Church at St John’s, West Ealing contributed to and helped me knock many of these songs into shape: particular thanks are due to the regular Café Church musicians including Steve Taylor, Julian Griffiths, Niall Corbett, Alan and Julie Perkins and others of the Men & Women Of Uncertain Age.

Since the early 1990s all income from my writing and music has gone via a charitable trust to support the work of my friend Kenneth Ononeze, a pastor in Jos in Northern Nigeria, a place which has at times been within reach of Boko Haram terrorists and has suffered numerous riots and much bloodshed. Living on little money in trying conditions, Kenneth, helped by his wife Helen and his church, has built two schools (one primary, one secondary) which are now providing affordable education for hundreds of children, including some from Muslim families. They remain in dire need of cash to complete their buildings, and all income from Prayers in Time is going to Kenneth’s schools where it will help transform many lives for the better. Nigeria is a corrupt and troubled country: Kenneth is a courageous and honourable man who has stood his ground against corruption and Islamist terrorism for three decades to help his community without profiting himself, and I am proud to make this album as a practical prayer to help him in his work.

(See www.wordsout.co.uk/pit_kenneth.htm for pictures and more information on Kenneth’s schools).

My thanks go to all my family for their support and forbearance which they have given during a time when the album seems to have almost become a demanding family member in itself. In particular, this could not have been done without Adam, who has been a constant encouragement and problem-solver alongside his creative input.

Beyond all, though, I am grateful for the patient love and support of Tessa, who has now shared the journey with me for more than half my life, and lives the words of her near namesake:

Christ has no body now on earth but yours.
Yours are the eyes with which he looks compassion on this world.
Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good.
Yours are the hands with which he blesses all the world.
(Teresa of Avila, 1515–1582)

I realise the best of this album puts into words and music what she puts into her life, and mine is the poorer offering.

Godfrey Rust, 2018

credits

released May 18, 2018

Godfrey Rust: vocals, acoustic guitar
Adam Rust: keyboards, synth bass, drum programming, guitars, vocals
Neena Caperna, Jess Duckworth, Laura Fontanills, Emma Nixon, Emma O’Gorman, Joel Rust, Jo Whitfield: vocals
Daniel Corbett, Jack Shepherd, Steve Weeks: electric guitars
David Fitzgerald: saxophones, flute
Sam Brown: cello
Hannah Copeland, Claire Dovey: violins

All songs written by and © Godfrey Rust with additional lyrics as indicated.

Produced and engineered by Adam Rust www.adamrustmusic.com
Co-produced by Godfrey Rust
Recorded by Adam Rust, Godfrey Rust and Jonathan Pagden
Mixed by Enoch John (tracks 5 and 9 by Adam Rust)
Mastered by Denis Blackham www.skyemastering.com
Cover photograph Brandon Robbins www.brandonrobbins.com
Design and artwork by Will Rust
© Wordsout Publications 2018 www.wordsout.co.uk

For my wife, Tessa

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